You Still Make A Difference  / Teri (POS Mom)
Oh Ben, you bright and beautiful boy. Please remind your mom to re-read the post by your "friend" whose life you have saved so many times. Then she will understand that you, my handsome friend, are getting promoted, time and again, in the new space that you occupy now. How hard it is for us mothers without our only child. An incredibly hard job we have, for sure. Send your precious mom all your love as she relearns how to live without you. Your love will give her the courage to smile, and then to laugh the way you did, and then to dance once again. You and Eric are together, laughing, dancing, making music and healing your mommas. What miracles you are. Eternal life. Devastating and miraculous. Close

Prayer / Dorothy V.O
Today, I said a prayer for you.  I can't believe that time passes by like it does.  But I still remember, and I pray. Close

Gratitude / Jill, Mom Of Joey (POS)

Dear Susan, I did not know your Ben, in life, but somehow I feel welcome and "at home" here.

 Reading all the wonderful tributes of those fortunate enough to have known him here on earth I can only guess that his warm and loving spirit lives on here.

Thank you for sharing him with me and may you feel his continued presence in your lives, always.

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On Ben's Memorial Date  / Arline Stumpff Marla's Mom (POS)
I AM NOT THERE

Do not stand by my grave and weep
For I am not there.
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am diamonds that glint on the snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning hush
I am the swift uplifting rush of butterflies in joyous flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there. I did not die.

Author Unknown
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Ohhh Susan and Family  / Rhonda Mom Of Shannon

Ben was such a handsome guy! He was just gorgeous! His smile was beautiful and his eyes lit up so wonderfully in the pictures.

The world has lost one of it's greatest stars when he left us...

I wish I could make it better, but we all know that isn't possible. But I surely would if I could, for you and your Ben, and for me and my Shannon...

God Bless You All,

Rhonda

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Concrete / Fandi Rabbani (Friend)
It's weird how some things never really leave your mind or heart. When Ben died, it was really sad. Not that I was his best friend or anything, but I knew the kid pretty well and we always joked and screwed around. As strange as it is though, I expected it was something that wouldn't bother me given due time. The more time that passes, the more I realize how different the circumstances may have been for the people around him if he was still alive. No matter how miniscule, Ben's death made an impact on everyone he knew. I still remember the days of Thiel's old science class, where Ben, Eric Stallings, and I would constantly make stupid commotion and ridiculous comments just to have a little fun. Remembering his laughter and smile and sense of humor is such a polar opposite from what he must have been feeling inside. He was a great guy, I knew that he had a solid group of close friends and was awesome to be around. I also loved visiting him at at BR when he was working there, that was really the only reason I've ever been to Baskin Robbins. I haven't gone there since his death, not that I would break down and cry, but it would not be the same without him there. As weird as it was, I ran into him about a week before he passed away, and I could tell he was a little down. Maybe things would have been different if I brought it up, maybe not. Not that it matters now, but you've gotta wonder. All I can say is, as blunt as this message might be, it is as honest as it gets. I really do miss you Ben. You were a great guy and an asset to our school. I remember that you were a genius and you understood shit that you never even paid attention to. It's not my place to judge you by how you passed away or anything, so I'll leave it at this: Wish you were here. Close

thank you for being in my life  / You Know (friend)
I thank you ben, It may seem strange but whenever I feel as down as you must have near the end, I think of you, and its like you are there by my side telling me to live. I am so sad that you are gone, but you have saved me so many times now. Bens family, I thought you should know that the thought of ben has kept me alive, he will never leave my heart. Close

Big Ben  / Nick Vizzutti (Friend)
It's been four years since you carried the 'I' in marching band, now it's my turn. I miss you man. I'm trying to bring the energy you used to bring to the sousaphone section, but I was never as funny as you. Just want to let you and your parents know that when I was totally lost as a freshmen you were the only senior who accepted me. I'm glad I get to march with your horn, it reminds me of all the ways you would have fun when times were bad. I wish you were still here, even if you were gone at college. People like you deserve to spread cheerfulness like you did. Thanks for everything. Close

Missing you  / Kellie Mills (friend)
Ben,
I miss you so much. The other day, I stayed up and talked to you for about a half hour. It was the most amazing feeling to sit there and tell you everything I ever wanted you to know...and the best part? When I didn't know what more to say, a cool breeze filled my room, and my tears stopped. I know you were there that night, and I know you heard everything. I hope now you know how much I care about you still, and how much I love you.

I feel like I have your presence with me in so many occasions. I will never forget this one experience after your memorial service. We were all handed black ribbons, and I wore mine as a bracelet that I had not planned on taking off for a long long time, to have you with me at all times. When I went on the airplane to visit my mother a few days later, I closed my eyes for about fifteen minutes. When I we arrived in Las Vegas, as I got off the plane, I noticed the bracelet was not on my wrist anymore, which was impossible because it was double knotted, and was not even loose. At that moment, I knew you had made it disappear as a sign to me, to let me know that you were happy now, and to not worry about you anymore.

From that day, everytime I have gotten on a plane (which has been easily over 20 times), I have always thought about you. I always ask you to keep me safe, and when I'm in the clouds, nothing makes me feel closer to you, because I know you are up there flying around somewhere.
 
I could say so much more, but I best stop this before I start crying. I love you Ben, and I know you know that. I will never forget the last time I saw you. I walked up to your house to see how you were doing, because you weren't in school anymore. You came out of your house, and we talked for a little bit. When I left, I walked only a few steps before turning back around. I gave you the biggest hug, and told you that I loved you so much. The best part of that memory is the warm feeling that I got when you told me you loved me too, and you were serious. I remember my eyes tearing up as I walked back home.

You have made such a huge impact on my life, and you know that. Like I have told you before, I do pageants now, and my platform is suicide awareness. Losing you was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through, and because of the pain I saw through the entire community, with your family, and myself, I immediately wanted to help others in your situation. I haven't done much yet on my platform, because it has a been long recovery process, but I think I am ready. Even now, when I did my first pageant, and probably when I do my next one this weekend, it is very hard to keep the tears from falling when I talk about why I chose suicide to be my platform. 

I now know how much pain you were in Ben, because I have been there. But your story has kept me from doing anything, and I know you are feeding me my strength. I know it probably sounds silly, but thank you so much for involving me in what was going on with your life. It makes me feel like a such a great friend when I know I was one of the few you let know about what was going on inside your mind, and you were comfortable enough to let me know about your struggles. For that I am grateful. I just wish I could have done more for you. I tried as hard as I could, but you know that already. I wish you didn't have to go. 

You will always be a large part of my life, not only with the space you have eternally in my heart, but with your presence as well. I hope you are happy now, but I just hope you know that you mean so much to me, that I can't even express it enough in words. 

I love you so much Ben, but you already know that, because I was fortunate enough to let you know in person before it was too late. 

Love you forever, and miss you until the day I meet you again in heaven. You better be at heaven's gate waiting for me...until then.

Kellie (Kellie #2)  Close

message to Barry & Sue  / Shirley, Katie's Mom POS
Dear Barry & Sue..........such a beautiful tribute for your son Ben.   He looks  and sounds like such a wonderful young man.....I am so sorry for your loss and the loss to the world.   Peaceful thoughts. Close

the most amazing dream  / Kate Elston (friend)

I had a dream I had died and was in heaven, and you were there, Ben. You gave me the biggest hug ever; I was so happy to see you. You made fun of what I was wearing (typical, haha!) and then you asked me if there was anything I hadn't said to you before you died that I wish I had. I said, "I wish I had told you I love you so much." You said, "You didn't have to. I knew it."

Thanks for dropping by in my dreams. I truly believe you were passing by and I am comforted knowing you knew how much you meant to me. I miss you so much, Ben.

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Friends / Sean Mulholland (Childhood Friend )

Ben,

I don't even really know how to describe what I'm feeling right now. You were such a good friend back in cub scouts, and I was so elated at the invitation to your Bar Mitzvah. I only wish that I had spent more time with you, taken a greater effort to give you a call from time to time. 

I know that when you moved to Mercer Island it made it harder for us to get together. But, I still have memories of coming over for an afternoon or two and playing ogre battle with you. And I remember how much fun we could make out of nothing. We would spend all afternoon playing, all the way up until my mom showed up to take me home. I could have used such a good friend like you getting through high school.

Depression is tough man. I've been having bouts of depression ever since my senior year of high school. The stress of college, growing up, turning 18, becoming a real person, paying bills, girls even, all add up. I wish I could have been there for you to talk to, but from the looks of it you had some very great caring friends.

I just wanted you to know, that you had a much bigger impact on my growing up than you ever could have imagined. I always wished that you never moved to Mercer Island so that we could have spent more time together. You meant a lot to me buddy.

Sean M.

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Hurts.... / Becky
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son, Benjamin. Suicide leaves such a huge empty hole in us. The pain is always there....I know....my beautiful niece ended her life at the age of eighteen suffering from depression. My son battles this also.  The memories of our loved ones and knowing that one day we will be with them again keep us strong. I will keep you and your angel close to my heart.

Becky
http:\\candice-bertram.memory-of.com Close

Happy Valentine's Day  / Myra Barton (Mom to Edvin Andrei Ang )

Have a Blessed Valentine's Day to mother and son, Sue and Ben!

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GOD is our source of comfort  / Myra Barton (Mom to Edvin Andrei Ang )

I pray that the GOD of comfort fill you with HIS presence now and forever.

Love,
Myra

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 / Anonyms (neighbor)
You were my neighbor for a few years, and i never knew you. You lived two houses down from mine, and in all the time we lived so close, i think i only actualy saw you twice. Now i babysit the kids that live in your old house, and think about you whenever i am there.  It seems like you are an amazing person, and I feel so much remorse that I didnt take advantage of the oppurtunity to know someone so great. You have touched so many lives. You have touched and impacted my life heavily, because of you i try and live each day fuller and with more feeling then before. Because of you I work harder to push out of my own obsticals and mental challenges. Since you have impacted me so much and i did not even know you, i cant even imagine how much you have touched those who knew and loved you. I wish i could have known you. It seems that everyone who knew you is convinced that you are in a better place now, and i hope with all my heart that this is so. Maybe in another time and place i will be granted the fortune of getting to know you. Neighbors are supposed to know each other, and i am unbelivaly sorry that i didnt. I wish with everything i have that you are now in peace. Close

You don't know me...  / Amanda
Hello Ben,

You don't know me.  In fact, I only just learned your name.  I did hear of your death back in April of 2005.  You see, I was in a play called Last Exit at Village Theatre.  Ironic how so many teen deaths occured just before we opened the show.  Last Exit was a reach out to students, by students about Teen Suicide.  We wanted to show you we love you, no matter if we knew you or not.  We love you all.  You are in our thoughts and prayers, know that you will never be forgotten.  I hope you are comfortable and happy up there.  Watch over your family, they need you the most.

-Amanda Close